Marc's Mortgage Matter's

November 26th, 2008 10:40 AM

Forrest Gump Explains Mortgage Backed Securities

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.
Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates, are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.
Mama always said, "Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest, sniff the chocolates first.”

 

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asks.

“165,” I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 185.

The nurse asks, “Your height?”

“5 foot 8,” I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 5”.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

“Of course it's high!” I scream. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!”

She put me on Prozac.

 

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one that would be big enough for her family reunion.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving weekend!


Posted by Marc (Moshe) Preger on November 26th, 2008 10:40 AMPost a Comment (0)

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